today the door is open

a windy day....and i see a door opened

i can walk in escape the wind, walk in the door.......

i realise today that the door has always been open....only i never saw it.

but is every open door, worth walking in?????

i keep asking myself over and over again

i sin over and over again, and what is sin, but pain that runs cold into my blood, that makes me shiver and sweat.

is it worth walking in?

 

welcome to the BIG world of adult life.......what we all wait for when we're 9.

today i'm a ....

i've loved, been loved, written and read so many love letters ever since school days.

i have feared the embaressment, the punishment and the pain of regretting and wishing that i could tear back the moments and undo it all.

 

the distance between sorrow and happiness, pain and lust, oh i dont know, my mind looses the power of focusing on the target...

 

i realise, things that i wait for, are those that i fear most, i might not want to keep and hold on to them when i have them....

i'm not dreaming no more, and my old dreams are fading away, loosing shape and color as i look at them with WONDERING eyes.

 

this is part of adult life, as i loose power over words and thoughts, i will leave the rest....unsaid.